There’s a lot of talk about space right now – commercial space flights, China’s moon mission, maybe even Mars colonies. When humans do finally inhabit space – which will be sooner than we think – it’ll be the deathbed for earth religions, especially the ones coming out of the desert. The other gods know this. Zeus and friends, such as the Flying Spaghetti Monster, are already scoping out new worlds for their temples and secret sauces. In honor of this transformative event, I’ve assembled the best songs punk has to offer about outer space and its implications for humanity.
#1) Shonen Knife – Riding on the Rocket. By far, the best space song ever recorded. The video gets 5 stars (supernovas). May sound tame now, but in 1986, this was straight-up punk rock. It was so punk, the band toured with Nirvana before Nevermind broke big. Best lyrics:
“Riding on the rocket, I wanna go to Pluto
Space foods are marshmallows, asparagus, ice cream
Blue eyed kitty cat said, please take me with you” I know you’re thinking – what the fuck is a blue-eyed kitty cat doing on a space mission. Hey, it’s the future.
#2) Dead Kennedys – One Way Ticket to Pluto. In one minute and 38 sonic seconds, the living god of punk, Jello Biafra, exposes the Reagan race to space war. Another 1986 classic. Best lyrics:
“We had to dispose of all of you so
we can spoil the final frontier
How dare you question our Star Wars plans
for the farce that they are”
#3) Rezillos – Destination Venus. Space and love from 1978. Electrifying vocals, chic haircuts, futuristic outfits, and real space dancing.
#4) Misfits – Astro Zombies. Not all the beings from outer worlds are nice. Some want to melt our flesh and bathe in our blood. Sung by the master of evil himself, Danzig, this song is the one of the most beautifully morbid tunes ever created. Best line “With just a touch of my burning hand, I’m gonna live me life to destroy your world…”
#5) Man or Astroman? – MST3K. No space list is complete without music from actual extraterrestrials. This superior version of the MST3K theme made them famous on our planet.
